Old Sod's Big Book of New Irish Comedy
CIAN: Wow! Cool place, this Rustcrocket House.
KEEFE: Will you keep your bloody voice down! Do you want
to set off the feckin’ alarms!
BUTZER: Which pictures are we taking, Mr. Keefe?
KEEFE: Just grab as many as you can!
CIAN: Oh, I wouldn’t take that one if I were you.
KEEFE: What? Why not?
CIAN: Well, like, I studied History of Art, you know, like, in
college. And that one was absolutely not his best. I mean,
like, he painted that before he’d fully developed his use
KEEFE: What? You mean it’s crap!?!
CIAN: Well in terms of its composition its quite interesting
BUTZER: What’ll I do, boss?
KEEFE: Leave it. Take the next one!
CIAN: Well, actually, I wouldn’t bother with that one either.
Like, it’s a Van Muysens and definitely one of his lesser
KEEFE: Bloody Hell!!
CIAN: But that one, over there. Now that’s an Umbertini.
CIAN: Here. You can see the influence of Caravaggio.
KEEFE: Right. Grab it, Butzer.
CIAN: But some critics suspect it may not be the original…
KEEFE: What? You mean it’s a fake!!
CIAN: Well, it’s a copy…
KEEFE: The robbing bastard!!!
PHONE: (muffled) William Tell Overture
KEEFE: Jeezuz! Will you turn off that FUCKING…!
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