Extract from the Big Book of New Irish Comedy
....Arriving at the store, the furious chairman was horrified to witness extensive ‘grazing’ by Irish customers in which whole families ambled about, eating food as they went, and, often, having completed a three-course meal washed down with a good claret, arrived at the check-out only to belch and leave, patting their bellies, having paid for nothing more than a ten cents toothpick.
Shocked, Von Talbot ventured further only to interrupt a middle-aged woman enjoying a shower in a distant part of the bathroom section and was hauled away by security staff when she screamed that he was a peeping tom.
Upon release, the chairman went on to discover several New Age traveler clans that had settled in a remote part of the Tropical Fruits and a Hindu holy man who had built a nest for himself among the soft cheeses. When the enraged chairman ordered the man's immediate removal he found himself, not only accosted by the monk's outraged followers but also denounced by leading cheese connoisseurs who claimed that the mystic's continued presence was essential to the unique flavour of the Camembert. Elsewhere…
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